Hello world!

I got laid off. Gotta let it sink in. Simple, yet a deadly punch.

I have always struggled with writing something on my blog. I’ve kept this domain for over 10 years and maybe I wrote 5 or less posts total. And I always just ended up either removing the posts or never finished writing the next one. I think this post might be up on my page longer than others.

During our last team meeting, my manager mentioned that there would be a series of layoffs happening across the company, and that our performance reviews would be delayed until everything was finalized.

I remember hearing that and still thinking:

“I should be okay.”

The team has only been getting busier and busier. If anything, I thought we needed more people, not less.

Then a last minute meeting invite from HR came in.

“Important Employment Matter.”

Just me and her, no manager included. At that point, I knew this probably wasn’t a surprise promotion. My heart started pacing really fast. I kinda panicked a bit and I could actually hear my heartbeat in my home office. That weird sinking feeling in your stomach when your brain already knows what’s about to happen but refuses to fully accept it.

And strangely enough, I still continued working until the meeting as if everything was normal.

Responded to emails.
Work on the next Jira ticket in queue.



Just another Tuesday.

Then I joined the call.

To be honest, the actual conversation probably didn’t even last five minutes. I could tell that she just wanted to end the call right there and then. I dragged it. I think I stretched it a couple more minutes because I didn’t want to accept the hard truth.

“Thank you for your service.”

That was how the story ended for working almost 11 years for the company. My access to all communications was revoked almost immediately after she said that.

“But I have emails to reply to. Codes to be reviewed. People to talk to.”

Couldn’t do any of that, but I still tried anyway. I tried sending goodbye messages to few people, although I knew they were just gonna be lost forever. And that actually hit harder than I expected. Being digitally erased from a place where I spent over a decade of my life with possibly a click of a button.

Then came the part I dreaded the most:
telling my family.

Except… I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know HOW to deliver the news to my wife.

“I got laid off” seemed to weight a million times heavier than “I love you,” and it’s actually just a word longer.

[Possible meme/GIF insert:

• buffering/loading meme
• Windows error popup
• person staring blankly at wall]

So instead, I did what any sensible engineer in 2026 apparently does during a personal crisis.

I opened ChatGPT.

Severance pay.
EI.
ROE.
Employment lawyers.
Continuation pay.

These were all things I barely understood because, until now, I had never been laid off before.

I kept reading everything I could, trying to force some kind of structure onto the situation.

Emotionally, though, I was all over the place.

Sad.
Angry.
Numb.
But oddly, calm.

Maybe even beyond angry.

I’m not in my early twenties anymore. I have a wife. I have a two-year-old daughter. At some point in adulthood, you realize the world doesn’t pause to let you emotionally recover on schedule.

Life keeps moving whether you’re ready or not.

So eventually, I started doing what felt practical.

I updated my resume.
Looked through job postings.
Made myself a fresh cup of coffee.
Pretended I was functioning normally.

The weirdest part was realizing that, for the first time in 11 years, my schedule suddenly belonged entirely to me.

At least until my two-year-old daughter inevitably reclaimed ownership of it.

I wanted to talk to my wife about everything immediately, but instead I spent most of the day pretending nothing had happened.

I continued doing chores.
Played with my daughter.
Acted like I had simply finished another normal workday.

Part of me thought maybe she wasn’t ready to hear the news yet.

Another part of me knew the truth:
I wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

Probably both.

I kept thinking I should immediately focus on my next steps.
Apply faster.
Study something.
Make a plan.

Instead, I decided to spend the rest of the evening playing with my daughter.

Honestly, I think I needed that more than anything else.

Tomorrow can deal with tomorrow.

Today just happened.